Abusive partners in LGBTQ relationships may use identity-specific tactics – in addition to the tactics used by abusive partners in heterosexual relationships – to gain power or control.
Additionally, abusive partners in LGBTQ relationships may reinforce their tactics for maintaining power and control with societal factors that are likely to deter a survivor from leaving or getting safe in the LGBTQ relationship. Physical, sexual and emotional abuse, financial control, isolation and other negative behaviors that are often found in abusive heterosexual relationships are also found in LGBTQ relationships.
Tactics often used in LGBTQ abusive relationships include, but are not limited to:
- "Outing" a partner or revealing a partner's sexual orientation of gender identity in an attempt to control their partner and increase isolation
- Threatening to "out" victims to family members, employers, community members and others – the possible outcomes of being "outed" when not ready include:
- Loss of job, housing, family, support, children and community
- Saying that no one will help the victim because they are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender; or saying that, for this reason, the partner deserves the abuse
- Justifying the abuse with the notion that a partner is not "really" lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender – the victim may have had or may still have relationships, or express a gender identity, inconsistent with the abuser's definitions of these terms
- This tactic is often used in verbal and emotional abuse as well as to further the isolation of a victim from the community
Utah Domestic Violence Hotline
In addition to connecting LGBTQ individuals with basic services, Utah Domestic Violence Hotline can also connect them with a culturally responsive advocate.
The Northwest Network
Support the self-determination and safety of bisexual, transgender, lesbian and gay survivors of abuse through education, organizing and advocacy. They also provide confidential crisis support for LGBTQ survivors of abuse.
Rainbow Law Free Clinic
LGBT legal issues related to employment, estate planning, family law, etc.
When: 2nd Thursday of every month.
Time: 4:30 pm - 7 pm. First come first served.
Location: Utah Pride Center. 255 East and 400 South in Salt Lake City.
Sponsored by: S.J. Quinney College of Law, The Outlaws & The Pride Center.
Salt Lake: pflag-saltlakecity.org
Support, educational materials and advocacy for parents, family members, friends, or lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people.
Utah Pride Center
Support individuals, families and allies, in building partnerships across all communities. Committed to continued improvement of all programs, services, education and advocacy.
The Trevor Project
Crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) young people, ages 13-24
Rape Recovery Center
Crisis intervention for survivors of rape and sexual assault; information and referral for sexual assault related matters; and community education regarding sexual assault, rape and sexual harassment.
Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered Domestic Violence
Information, resources and support to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered men and women who are victims of domestic violence.
LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapist Guild of Utah
All psychotherapists on this list* describe themselves as affirming of gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning issues. They vary in their counseling approaches and in their level of experience and knowledge working with LGBTQ clients. They may have experience in the following areas: LGBTQ family therapy, LGBTQ relationship counseling, same sex attraction, transgender counseling, and counseling LGBTQ youth. Although located across Utah, the majority of therapists are located in Salt Lake County.
*Inclusion in the list is not an endorsement by the LGBTQ+ Affirming Therapist Guild of Utah.
Podcast: Being Transgender
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